Monday, February 14, 2011

Back in My Day....

I saw this on facebook and had to repost it. Sometimes we just need something to laugh at.

When I was a kid, adults used to bore me to tears with their tedious diatribes about how hard things were. When they were growing up; what with walking twenty-five miles to school ...every morning.... Uphill... Barefoot... BOTH ways...yadda, yadda, yadda

And I remember promising myself that when I grew up, there was no way in hell I was going to lay a bunch of crap like that on my kids about how hard I had it and how easy they've got it!

But now that I'm over the ripe old age of forty, I can't help but look around and notice the youth of today. You've got it so easy! I mean, compared to my childhood, you live in a damn Utopia! And I hate to say it, but you kids today, you don't know how good you've got it!

1) I mean, when I was a kid we didn't have the Internet. If we wanted to know something, we had to go to the damn library and look it up ourselves, in the card catalog!!

2) There was no email!! We had to actually write somebody a letter - with a pen! Then you had to walk all the way across the street and put it in the mailbox, and it would take like a week to get there! Stamps were 10 cents!

3) Child Protective Services didn't care if our parents beat us. As a matter of fact, the parents of all my friends also had permission to kick our ass! Nowhere was safe!

4) There were no MP3's or Napsters or iTunes! If you wanted to steal music, you had to hitchhike to the record store and shoplift it yourself!

5) Or you had to wait around all day to tape it off the radio, and the DJ would usually talk over the beginning and @#*% it all up! There were no CD players! We had tape decks in our car. We'd play our favorite tape and "eject" it when finished, and then the tape would come undone rendering it useless. Cause, hey, that's how we rolled, Baby! Dig?

6) We didn't have fancy crap like Call Waiting! If you were on the phone and somebody else called, they got a busy signal, that's it!

7) There weren't any freakin' cell phones either. If you left the house, you just didn't make a damn call or receive one. You actually had to be out of touch with your "friends". OH MYGOSH !!! Think of the horror... not being in touch with someone 24/7!!! And then there's TEXTING. Yeah, right. Please! You kids have no idea how annoying you are.

8) And we didn't have fancy Caller ID either! When the phone rang, you had no idea who it was! It could be your school, your parents, your boss, your bookie, your drug dealer, the collection agent... you just didn't know!!! You had to pick it up and take your chances, mister!

9) We didn't have any fancy PlayStation or Xbox video games with high-resolution 3-D graphics! We had the Atari 2600! With games like 'Space Invaders' and 'Asteroids'. Your screen guy was a little square! You actually had to use your imagination!!! And there were no multiple levels or screens, it was just one screen.. Forever! And you could never win. The game just kept getting harder and harder and faster and faster until you died! Just like LIFE!

10) You had to use a little book called a TV Guide to find out what was on! You were screwed when it came to channel surfing! You had to get off your ass and walk over to the TV to change the channel!!! NO REMOTES!!! Oh, no, what's the world coming to?!?!

11) There was no Cartoon Network either! You could only get cartoons on Saturday Morning. Do you hear what I'm saying? We had to wait ALL WEEK for cartoons, you spoiled rotten little rat-bastards!

12) And we didn't have microwaves. If we wanted to heat something up, we had to use the stove! Imagine that!

13) And our parents told us to stay outside and play... all day long. Oh, no, no electronics to soothe and comfort. And if you came back inside... you were doing chores!

And car seats - oh, please! Mom threw you in the back seat and you hung on.. If you were lucky, you got the "safety arm" across the chest at the last moment if she had to stop suddenly, and if your head hit the dashboard, well that was your fault for calling "shot gun" in the first place!

See! That's exactly what I'm talking about! You kids today have got it too easy. You're spoiled rotten! You guys wouldn't have lasted five minutes back in 1970 or any time before!


Kurt said...

They had TV when they was growing up??? And one of them new fangled things called an Atari 2600???

Hmmmm... OK, now I'm feeling even older. Lol.

Bitmap said...

"Child Protective Services didn't care if our parents beat us."

My mom told me that when they were little her younger brother was sent to his room for committing some offense. Since there was no A/C the window was open. He started screaming out the window "Please don't hit me again Momma!!! I promise I won't do it again!!!"

He probably did get hit for that.

Bitsy said...

HAHAHAHA I love the one about how there was no winning in space invaders... the game just got harder and harder until you died. HAHAHAHAHAHAHA

Lone Star Patriots said...

Damn right!

Texas Cigar

Brandy said...

I kinda like some of these things. Get the government out of our lives!! CPS interfers way to much and all these child protection laws are outta control!

mama4x said...

I am rolling on the floor. Hilarious! I felt old one day- my daughter was in the car, with the window rolled up, and I needed to talk to her, and I made the "rolling down the window with the manual arm-rolly thing" motion with my hand and she had no idea what I meant because she's only known electronic window buttons. And when I used to draw a telephone, I would draw the tabletop kind with the big receiver resting on top and the cord. And she was like, what is that? And drew a cell phone. *sigh*

Carolyn said...

Too funny!
Thanks for sharing!
May I repost this on my Facebook page?

The Urban Survivalist said...

post away. That's where I got it lol.

Anonymous said...

well done, sir - my hat is off to you. that was a truly *beautiful* rant.